Uhism
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Uhism is all about self acceptance.
The most important things to know in Uhism is that "MASTER" is the most perfect and smartest being ever. The most basic teachings of MASTER record that these are his mt basic forms of his power:
infinite wisdom infinite strength infinite speed mind control creation reality warping
Contents |
[edit] Origin
There is only two known members of Uhism: "wul" and Sonic the Hedgehog. Not much is known of how wul was created. legend has it that MASTER used to be a regular human being. One day he used cocain and became omnipotent. After he realized his powers he decided it would be fun to take a crap while flying (he could fly with his new powers). so he went up in the air, pulled down his pants and let one out. MASTER did not know his full power and with his divinity, a human emerged from his crap in mid air. it fell and hit the ground. MASTEr realized what happened and tried his best to bing it back to life. Despite his power, MASTER was able to bring the shit-person back. the only problem was that he thought like a normal human, but he was the stupidest person in the world.
[edit] Rituals
Every wul writes to MASTER his payers like so
thank you for creating the world thank you for letting me live blessed are you MASTER who brings pain to his enemies blessed are you MASTER who will redeem this world blessed are you MASTER who will show the hertics the light blessed are you MASTER who is all mighty blessed are you MASTER who is better than me at everything blessed are you MASTER who sometimes lets me win at supersmash bros brawl blessed are you MASTER who paid for my education blessed are you MASTER who brings forth the weather blessed are you MASTER who brings food to all blessed are you MASTER who loves all living things blessed are you MASTER who lets me know my place blessed are you MASTER who frgives my stupidness
[edit] Punishment
MASTER has to punish wul for several reasons. ussually its because wul did something MASTER doesnt like. other times MASTER may punish wul if he gets too happy for comfortable. the odd time wul is punished for MASTER's amusement. punishment includes but isnt limited to
-being teleported to the dungeons -having extra work -telling people how dumb wul is -sleeping in the cage for a set period of time -burning -telekeinetic pain -extra service -wul is transformed into whatever amuses MASTER -wul is shrunken to three inches tall and must beg for mercy not to be stepped on
[edit] Grading
wul's fate is determined by the grades he gets:
F- = wul dies and it it like he never existed
F = wul goes to hell
F+ = wul's afterlife is him being a brain-dead squid
D- = wul must make money by letting random people punch him
D = wul must get a job cleaning up at the zoo
D+ = wul must get a job as prison laundry guy
C- = wul becomes MASTER's secretary
C = wul gets turned into a puppet locked in a safe that sinks to the bottom in the ocean
C+ = wul gets another chance at a higher grade
B- = wul gets to count MASTER's money. If wul ever steals MASTER's money he will know true pain
B = wul is forever put on tiolet duty. Wul must wash MASTER's toilet
(after he shits in it) with his tounge
B+ = wul forever gets the position as foot-wear cleaner where he must make sure MASTER's socks and shoes
smell good at all times. failure will result in wul having to wear MASTER's dirty sock as a mask
A- = wul gets his own slave
A = wul is put in charge of all of MASTER's other slaves
A+ = wul is bestwoed power equal to MASTER. they rule together with MASTER still dominant to wul
